so i'm drinking water with cucumber in it. i think that's a good thing because when you're trying to lose weight, water helps. =] i was hoping it would get sunny today but it hasn't, it has just gotten cloudier. it makes me kind of sad, which is odd. i love rain, so i should be glad. but for whatever reason, i am not glad today. =[ i did want to go lay outside. damn. maybe it will clear up after it rains. it is only two o'clock.

so yesterday jared brought kirk and lisa home. he also brought me a bottle of wine and he brought two wine-like things home for everyone else. i don't know, i only tried a bit of one and it was the orange jubilee one and it was gross. =/ so i asked kirk to hand it to jared and jared asked me what it was and when kirk heard he was like "oh, that's all it is?" and he drank it instead haha. i do not understand, but whatever. i don't know, i've speculated for like the past two years about how maybe kirk would have had a thing for me but i don't think i was right. i dunno, i think maybe he was just always being nice to me. haha. it's out of character for him, though. he doesn't go out of his way for anyone so yeah. also, jared doesn't think kirk and lisa are going to last much longer. i almost feel bad for her because she is oblivious. even if i liked her, though, it wouldn't matter because i don't know how to go about that. there has been no solid proof one way or the other from kirk. i don't even know what they ever found in each other anyway, personally. but whatever. lisa irritates me. i've gotten over a lot of my absolute hatred for her because jared always called it "rivalry" and i felt bad because i think it made him uncomfortable. yet he always hung out with them and brought me, so obviously not THAT uncomfortable. i dunno, she's got certain things about her that really irritate me but i'm trying to just brush them off. it's not like she's some huge part of my life or anything - there's no reason to let her get to me. it's a waste of my energy.

so yeah, other than that there's pretty much nothing else going on. i'm waiting for jared's stupid encoding program to finish so that i can close it. it slows the entire computer down and it fucks up if you run too many things while it's running. it just bugs me because it's like, what the fuck else am i supposed to do today? i've read everything here, the entire apartment is cleaned. i can't do anything upstairs without the hanging things he keeps promising to get. i've seen EVERY MOVIE he owns like a dozen times (which, really, is quite a feat because he's got hundreds).

anyway, i'm done now.

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If you are easily made uncomfortable, I would suggest leaving now.
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